Confessions of a CES Virgin

CES Virginity? I scoff at it. Consider it officially lost. My feet are aching and my legs are like spaghetti after 10 hours of chatting with PR, bulldozing my way through crowds, navigating the massive show floor, and barely keeping myself properly nourished, but I took everything that Vegas and CES threw at me and batted it out of the park. At least today.

Thanks to CES Veteran Sarah Anderson, who was the Obi-Wan to my farmboy Luke, I came correct. I wore (somewhat) comfortable shoes, booked appointments at booths that were located (relatively) close together to cut down on the zig-zagging, and kept all of my 16 meetings brisk; after 15 minutes with a vendor I was off to the races yet again.

There were some roughs moment, though. During my lunch break I made a mad rush to Best Buy after taking some photos at the Audiovox event and realizing that there was no way to get the photos off of my SD to my notebook as my MacBook has no memory card slot. About a hour later, of course, my digital camera completely and utterly gave up the ghost. The lens refused to extend and I received a “lens error” message whenever I would power it on. Panic naturally ensued, but in the big scheme of things I suppose it no huge loss as I made every appointment on time; quite a few ahead of time. To my fellow former virgin, I say rest easy. The second time around should be a ‘lil less painful (but not for your feet).

Lost are my first day of CES 2008 and my CES virginity. The day was as overwhelming as it was exciting. All the forewarning about the size of this show just couldn’t prepare me for what I stepped into this morning. Not only do the halls stretch so far that you can’t see where they end, but the floors are packed with people. But the day wasn’t without excitement. I began at the Sands/Venetian with six meetings and then made my way to the South Hall for an additional nine. I saw lots of cool new products from WowWee’s new robots all the way down to Belkin’s streaming wireless HD.

And above all it was as painful as all the ladies warned me. My feet, no thanks to my Cole Haan Nike Air shoes, are killing. I don’t know if it was the walk from the South Hall to the North Hall and then back to the South Hall again or if it was simply from pacing from booth to booth, but I’d be happy to take those geek’s offers for a foot massage.

Either way, I figure the first day has to be the most painful. Right? Doesn’t it get better with time?

I learned early on this morning that it’s not easy being a gal at CES. And I am not talking about the shoes or the ugly press backpacks giveaways. I am referring to my first meeting of “booth babes.” It would have been a bit awkward for me to start asking the very attractive, tightly clothed women to “touch my cell phone” so I asked them a few questions. Here is my first of three interviews with CES booth babes. Why am I talking to them? Booth babes are real people too!

Name: Kimberly Denmark aka “Jook Girl”

Age: Declined to answer.

How did you decide to become a booth babe? Is it something you always dreamed of?

No. This is just a freelance gig. I got this job through my modeling agency. I work at nights on the strip so I need something to do during the days.

What is the weirdest comment you got today?

A guy asked me if these high boots hurt my feet. Then he offered to rub them. It was kind of gross.

How many guys a day ask you to take a picture with them?

I’d say about 5 to 10. The best are the guys that take pictures behind your back with their thumbs up. They are really cool.

How long was your training?
About 15 minutes. One thing I know is that you have to have a little bit of brains for the job. I mean I have to know about iPods and how Jook lets you share your music with your friends.

So Jook lets you share your iPods music wirelessly with others. What type of technology is built into Jook?

I am not sure.

Overall, how do you like working at CES?

I like it. I run into a lot of my modeling friends that work at other booths and stuff, so that is nice. During the breaks, we can hang out and share stories about the geeks.

Just in case you’re a CES virgin yourself, here’s what you can expect: over 140,000 attendees “crammed” into 1.7 million square feet of show floor; 2,700 exhibitors; cab drivers sequestered from Los Angeles—who don’t know where they’re going—to handle the extra 140,000 people (Vegas itself is only a little more than half a million people); and taxi lines. Really, really long taxi lines.

At CES 2008, you’ll see press bags from this show and every show from the last 10 years, although probably not the blue shoulder bags from a few years back, because those were heavy and ugly. The orange backpacks from last year will be there, and the pale green rolling bags will be most prevalent, next to of course, whatever they hand out this year (please let it have it wheels!).

You’ll see energetic trade folks who are genuinely excited to be there, other CES press virgins who think they’re excited, but that’s just because they haven’t really started yet, and then you’ll see people like me: the super-organized, got-peeing-in-my-schedule, camera-around-my-neck crazed woman, carrying a trusty lightweight shoulder bag for easy access to my notepad, and toting the real-deal wheelie backpack behind me (just don’t trip over it), with my notebook and press kits. People like me will be darting from meeting to meeting, sitting down to write wherever they can, and snarfing down their lunches the moment they hit the press room tables because the CEA ran short last year—by about 150 lunches if memory serves.

Someone from up above dropped off a package at my desk. It had to be from a higher being because the two included contents will save my life and the lives of others attending CES. I returned from vacation this week to find two CES guides on my desk – The Frommer’s 2008 Complete Guide to CES and the CES Pre-Show Planner.

The CES Pre-Show Planner is everything I have ever wanted. The magazine-sized book has full page, colored maps of the halls, complete with vendor’s names and booth locations. And did I mention, an alphabetical listing of exhibitors? Life saving.

Its smaller companion, a Frommer’s Guide, “is designed to help you navigate the official show locations” and contains lots of travel tips. This virgin got to reading and has learned the following:

1. Pack hand sanitizer (tech vendors and products are dirty)
2. The recommended reading list contains Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (acid tabs might be  press giveaways this year and CES journalists must take instruction from Hunter S. Thompson for survival)
3. When you check into your hotel room, ask for a complimentary humidifier (can you trade that for complimentary Wi-Fi? Blogging before breathing)
4. Do not tip CES Staff; they cannot and will not accept tips (are press kits/materials considered tips?)
5. New this year - CES attendees get a 20 percent discount on Las Vegas Monorail tickets (this offer expired on December 24, 2007; good thing we read the fine print on Christmas Eve)

In reading this post about the mammoth size of CES and listening to a certain LAPTOP Reviews Editor talk about the show like it’s an Olympic triathlon, this CES virgin isn’t taking the heat lying down.

Jeff might be preparing for the show by booking transportation to meetings, but in order to get in shape for the show I’m training my body and prematurely putting it through the anticipated exhaustion and fatigue.

That’s right. I am building my CES stamina in the gym. With my CES workout mix (complete with Bootylicious by Destiny’s Child) loaded on my Zune, I prepare for the miles of walking in Las Vegas on the treadmill. My calculations show that the show floor is equivalent to 35 football fields or 1.9 miles in length. After only two weeks of training I am down to 10 minute miles. Goal: Get it down to 8 minute miles and begin to focus on the long distances, i.e. The Sands to the Las Vegas Convention Center.

Back in the home office of LAPTOP magazine, a lot of us are jealous of Jeffrey and Joanna, because they get to attend CES while we stay here in New York. I know while I’m sitting here in front of the same old computer screen on January 7 - 10, I’ll be cursing our two CES virgins for having the opportunity to listen to keynotes from leaders like Bill Gates, view new gadgets before anyone else does, and oggle celebrities like Jerry Seinfeld and Vanna White.

On the other hand, I’m a little less envious of our CES virgins after reading about the size of the convention and the sheer number of vendors.

CES 2008 is less than a month away and I’m getting antsy. It’s not because this will be my first time in Vegas (I’m rather looking for some Swingers-styled action), but because there’s a twinge of nervousness that’s growing exponentially as I begin to realize the full scope of this undertaking.

CES, with the unbelievably massive Las Vegas convention Center and seemingly infinite stretch of hotels lining the strip, is enough to break a person - at least that’s what I hear. An editor has told me that CES nearly caused her to uproot her hair after a cab driver (one of the many imported from L.A. to handle the glut of attendees) made her miss four vital appointments due to his unfamiliarity with Sin City.

A colleague who works for another publication commented on the Flash-like speed and agility required to navigate the floor as a mad rush of journalists and tech nerds move from booth to booth. He also suggested wearing the most comfortable shoes that I can get my paws on, because by the end of the show, the dogs will be barking. And just to prove the “anything can and will happen” nature of Vegas, a former managing editor recalled to me a harrowing time when a loaner EV-DO card that he’d been using was cut off on the show floor. Ouch.

So where does that leave me, a CES Virgin? I’m making sure that I arrange transportation with vendors for those long treks from hotel meeting place to hotel meeting place, carrying my own EV-DO card, and packing my Wallabee Clarks, which true fans of the mocassin hail as the world’s most comfortable shoe.

I’d like to think that the wise words bestowed upon me by CES veterans will prevent anything short of Armageddon from tossing my plans for a loop, but I have a feeling that the unpredictable mistress that is the CES carries a wildcard at all times, just to keep things spicy. After all, no one wants to return from CES without at least one horror story to boost the “I barely survived Vegas” cool factor, so here’s hoping for a minimum of fuss, just a bare minimum.

When people tell me that the CES is a SHOW, I believe them. But a celebrity show? I guess, if you consider Bill Gates and Kevin Martin to be celebrities.

But being a CES virgin, I was shocked and thrilled to find out that Sony is turning its booth into a celebrity hangout on par with The Ivy of Beverly Hills. Last year, Disney stole the show by bringing Evangeline Lilly and Matthew Fox from TV’s Lost. Now it’s Sony’s turn.

The Daily Variety reports that this year Jerry Seinfeld, Tony Bennett, and Drew Carey will be in attendance at the Sony booth on January 7 at 9 a.m., the opening day of the show. Vanna White and Alex Trebek will also be in attendance. That is if Mr. Trebek can recover from his recent heart attack. Perhaps, Will Ferrell will step in with a Saturday Night Live imitation?

A girl’s first time can be one of the biggest moments in her life. The excitement, the anticipation, the nervousness – it is a time she will remember forever. I am, of course, talking about attending the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas for the first time. What were you thinking?

On January 6, I will head to the City of Sin to lose my CES – the mother of technology trade shows – virginity. The foreplay in the months leading up to the show has been nothing short of mind-blowing: swarms of e-mails with information and images of soon-to-be unveiled gadgets and gizmos, passes to see Bill Gates and Nicholas Negroponte live and in person, invitations to swanky parties at the most glamorous hotels in the world. It feels right, but am I ready?!

Nervousness. Anticipation. Excitement beyond compare. It’s hard to imagine that the stars have aligned and the time has come for me to become a man-a real man-by finally parting the gates of that magical place where I’ve never been, but have heard so many wondrous stories about: The Consumer Electronics Show.

When my plane touches down in Las Vegas on January 6th, and I make my way to the Las Vegas Convention Center-and the adjacent hotels that house the myriad of booths, demonstrations, and parties that will celebrate the upcoming technologies of 2008 - it’s not going to be about the booth babes (although that’s not a bad thing), the swag (ditto), or the free booze. Covering CES will be the culmination of my three year career as a tech journalist.